There is something undeniably satisfying about tying your own bow tie.
Unlike a pre-tied bow tie, a self-tie bow is never perfectly symmetrical. The slight imperfections are precisely what give it character. It suggests confidence, individuality and a willingness to take a little extra care with the details.
At Belfast Bow Company, we make every self-tie bow tie by hand in our Dromore workshop using carefully chosen fabrics including Irish linen, Liberty of London prints and traditional tartans. Whilst we appreciate that learning to tie your own bow tie can seem a little daunting at first, we also firmly believe that it is one of those skills that quickly becomes second nature. Trust us.
In this guide, we'll show you exactly how to tie a self-tie bow tie, with both a video tutorial and step-by-step photographs to help you find the method that works best for you.
In This Guide
- Why choose a self-tie bow tie?
- Before you begin
- Video tutorial
- Step-by-step instructions
- Common mistakes
- Frequently asked questions
Why Choose a Self-Tie Bow Tie?
There’s no denying, a self-tie bow tie has a character all of its own.
Whilst we obviously believe that a beautifully made pre-tied bow tie certainly has its place, a self-tie bow tie does create a softer, more natural shape that simply cannot be replicated by something pre-tied.
The slight variation between each side is part of its charm. In fact, many gentlemen would argue that the beauty of a self-tie bow tie lies in the fact that it looks like it was tied by a human being rather than a machine.
For black tie events in particular, a self-tie bow is considered the traditional choice. For weddings, it adds personality and individuality. For everyday occasions, it simply feels a little more special.
The first attempt may take a few minutes (and the occasional spicy word). The fifth attempt will probably take less than one.
Before You Begin
Before tying your bow tie, there are a few simple things worth checking.
Your Checklist
✓ Turn your shirt collar up
✓ Fasten the top button
✓ Adjust the bow tie to your neck size (this can be tweaked later)
✓ Stand in front of a mirror
A Belfast Bow Company Tip – Grooms, this is for you.
If you've been brave enough to choose a self-tie bow tie for your wedding day and you've never tied one before, then consider this your pep talk.
Yes, it can feel a little daunting. By the morning of your wedding, you may already be feeling slightly jittery (we can recommend a good Irish whiskey for that), so do yourself a favour and practise beforehand.
A few trial runs will help you get the sizing right, work out whether you like your bow tie looking perfectly neat or slightly jaunty, and most importantly, give you one less thing to worry about on the big day.
Watch the video, follow the step-by-step photographs and give yourself plenty of time to get comfortable with the process.
And remember, by 9pm, when the speeches are finished and the dancing has started, you'll be able to loosen the top button, open the bow tie and embrace that slightly dishevelled James Bond look that every groom earns by the end of the night.
Watch the Video Tutorial
If you're a visual learner, our video tutorial below may be all you need.
Many people find that watching the process a few times is the quickest way to learn. Don't worry if it doesn't click immediately. Bow ties have a habit of making perfect sense after a little practice.
A Belfast Bow Company Tip
One trick we often recommend is practising around your leg, just above the knee. The circumference is surprisingly similar to a shirt collar, and it allows you to learn the movements without constantly craning your neck towards a mirror. Once you've mastered the technique there, moving to your collar becomes much easier.
How to Tie a Self-Tie Bow Tie
Step 1: Start with One End Slightly Longer Than the Other
Place the bow tie around your neck with one end hanging approximately 1–2 inches lower than the other.
This longer end will do most of the work during the tying process.
Step 2: Cross the Longer End Over the Shorter End
Cross the longer end over the front of the shorter end, creating an X shape just below your collar.
Step 3: Bring the Longer End Up Through the Neck Loop
Bring the longer end up behind the crossover point and pass it through the loop around your neck.
Pull gently to create a simple knot.
Set the longer end on your shoulder.
Step 4: Form the Front Bow
Fold the shorter end back on itself to create the front shape of the bow.
This folded section will become the visible front of your finished bow tie.
Hold it in place with one hand.
Step 5: Drop the Longer End Over the Centre
Take the longer end from your shoulder and bring it straight down over the centre of the folded bow shape.
This creates the front knot.
Keep everything held firmly in position.
Step 6: Fold the Hanging End and Push It Through the Hole at the Back
Fold the hanging end back on itself to create another bow shape.
Take a corner and push it through the small opening behind the bow.
This is often the trickiest step for beginners.
Take your time and don't force it.
Crucially, don’t be afraid to swear, start again.
Step 7: Tighten and Adjust
Gently pull the folded ends of the bow to tighten everything into place.
You will probably need to pull each end several times to achieve the correct tension in the knot.
Adjust the shape until you're happy with it.
The finished bow should sit neatly against your collar whilst retaining a little softness and character.
Don't Aim for Perfection
This may sound like strange advice in a tutorial, but one of the most common mistakes people make is trying to make a self-tie bow tie look perfectly symmetrical.
Honestly, the beauty of a self-tie bow tie is that it shouldn't look machine-made.
A little asymmetry is part of its charm. The most elegant bow ties often have a touch of personality to them. They sit slightly differently from one side to the other and that's exactly as they should be.
Think of it in the same way as a handmade piece of furniture or a hand-thrown ceramic mug. The small variations are what make it interesting.
Common Mistakes
My Bow Looks Uneven
A little unevenness is perfectly normal and often desirable.
If one side is dramatically larger than the other, simply loosen the bow slightly and retighten it.
My Bow Is Too Small
Try loosening the centre knot a little and pulling more fabric through before tightening again.
Check that you have adjusted it to the correct size.
Check that started with one end longer than the other.
I Can't Push the Final Loop Through
This is probably the most common challenge for beginners.
The opening behind the bow is often smaller than people expect. Fold the fabric tightly and push gently rather than forcing it.
My Bow Keeps Coming Loose
Check that the neck adjustment is correct before you begin. A bow tie that is too loose around the collar can be difficult to tighten properly.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is a self-tie bow tie difficult to learn?
Not at all. Most people can tie one confidently after a handful of attempts.
How long should it take?
Once you've mastered the technique, tying a bow tie usually takes less than a minute.
Can I wear a self-tie bow tie to a wedding?
Absolutely. Many grooms choose a self-tie bow tie because it feels more personal and creates a softer, more natural look in photographs.
What's the difference between a self-tie and a pre-tied bow tie?
A self-tie bow tie is tied by the wearer and has a more relaxed, individual appearance. A pre-tied bow tie arrives already formed and fastens around the neck, the knot/bow cannot be untied or adjusted.
Which fabric is best for a self-tie bow tie?
That largely depends on the occasion. Irish linen & Liberty cotton are both wonderful choices for spring and summer weddings, whilst tartan is particularly suited to autumn and winter events.
Our Favourite Self-Tie Bow Ties for Beginners
- Black Irish Linen Self-Tie Bow Tie
- Navy Irish Linen Self-Tie Bow Tie
- Black Velvet Self-Tie Bow Tie
- Navy Paisley Liberty Self-Tie Bow
More Than Just a Bow Tie
Learning to tie a bow tie is one of those small skills that quietly sets a gentleman apart.
It takes a little patience to master, but once you've learned it, it's yours for life. Much like polishing a pair of shoes properly or knowing how to fold a pocket square, it's a skill worth having and, if we're being honest, one worth boasting about just a little.
There's also a certain confidence that comes with knowing your bow tie wasn't tied by someone else or stitched permanently into shape. You tied it yourself.
And perhaps the best part? At the end of a wedding, party or black-tie event, a self-tie bow tie has one final trick up its sleeve. As the evening winds down, the top button can be loosened, the bow untied and left draped around the collar. All that's missing is a whiskey on the rocks.
Ready to Practise?
Like any worthwhile skill, tying a bow tie becomes easier with practice.
The first attempt may take a little patience. The second will feel easier. By the fifth or sixth attempt, you'll likely wonder why it ever seemed complicated in the first place.
A self-tie bow tie is one of those small details that never goes out of style. It speaks of tradition, confidence and taking pride in the way you present yourself.
If you're looking for a self-tie bow tie to practise with, our collection is handmade to order in Northern Ireland using Irish linen, Liberty of London fabrics and traditional tartans, each crafted by hand in our Dromore workshop.
And remember, perfection isn't the goal.
Character is.
